Been a Long Time

It has been a real long time since the few of us had so much time to enjoy each others company. All the gossips, crapping, and of course, our own food excursions around school. It has been really enjoyable, not to mention, sinful and fattening!

Today is already friday, and week 3 of school is going to end just like that. Also kinda glad that I have managed to settle all my project and tutorial groups, and so far (still early to say though), everything looks very fine. Just hope it remains like that, as I really know the importance of a good project group. I was trying very hard at the start of the sem to be in the same tutorial groups as my friends, however 5 modules proved to be too many, and I was left taking a few tutorials alone. But from last year's experience, I kinda did the best for projects that I did with new friends, so oh well, I'm sure it will turn out fine again.

PS: I can get very pissed if I am accused for being someone I definitely am not.

Lets Be Fair

I think that on quite a few occasions, many of us (yes that includes me as well) are a little too skeptical and pessimistic about this new group of people. I am sure we have our reasons for feeling so, but ultimately I still insist that we should step back a little, and see things from another point of view. Why I say so?

Simply, because we comment and complain so much, but yet we are not willing to do anything about it. In fact, it seems a little bitchy and hypocritical. I mean, if we really have so much to complain and if we always run them down on their abilities, why don't we really do something about it instead of just giving comments which will never help the situation. Why not we, for once, look up to them for their courage and willingness to step up, and to take this challenge. Do we really know how they would fare? Can we really predict the future from what little signs we have? I doubt so.

Had this exact same sentiments during the Arts Camp period. I keep getting comments from people, saying that "From my point of view, I think that this is not right". Yes its good that they are willing to share their opinions on a certain issue, but then, I always pose back the question, "So do you have a solution to improve the situation?" Somehow or rather, the answer is always "no". My point here is, we as humans tend to comment and complain about something, but when asked for a solution, we just simply do not have one. So, what right do we actually have to complain?

My two cents worth ...

HairSpray

Just watched HairSpray yesterday. To me, it was one of the best movies I have watched since a long time. Maybe it is also because I always enjoy musical-like movies, and enjoy shows which involve alot of music and dances! It's just amazing how they can replicate a 1950-60s setting throughout the entire movie, and the dance moves were all really cool.

Was quite disgusted at what I saw when I came back to my room today. I remember not too long ago reuben was talking about someone shitting all over the floor at his level toilet before. This time, the same thing happened at my level toilet. Thank goodness there are another 3 toilets on the same level not too far away. Although, it has really kept me wondering how the person managed to execute such an amazing 'feat'. Secondly, someone actually stopped the washing machine which I was using to wash my clothes. Once again, how that was done I do not really know, but I think he or she actually opened the cover, and somehow or rather the washing did not continue. Quite pissed to actually see my clothes still all wet and soapy after an hour. Thankfully, the usage of washing machines are free, and that my room is almost next to the laundry area.

As the days go by, we are drawing nearer and nearer to the end of our term. Many things to actually look back at, and to look forward to. Been real busy closing off the term with reports, treasury forms and ROP preparation, but I guess it is just real impt to end it all off well. A phrase mentioned by hock, that of "stepping down happily, and starting to mend relationships" whizzed thru my mind. Thru out this year, I have definitely seen the best and worst of people. Similarly, I am sure people have also seen the best and worst of me. But whats really troubling me is the fact that, there are some memories, some actions, and some impressions which will never die away. Ok, maybe they would with more time, but I am quite sure it will take quite some time. This has been rather obvious in the last few weeks, and as much as one can say 'they deserved it' for their actions, you gotta feel some pity for the state they have gotten themselves into. And to make it even worse, these people (notice its 'these' and not 'this') are actually unware of whats happening.

Tutorials are starting this week, and I am still falling way behind in my readings. The only consolation I have for myself is that at least I am complaining about falling behind in the 3rd week of school, and not only starting to worry at the last week of school. Damn sian ... ...

Just to Add

Despite my rantings, I just wanna say that I have never regreted running for a position in the 27th MC. And as I have said before, I may one day regret my decision of not re-running for the 28th, but my decision has to be made now, and what lies in the future, I or no one will ever know.

Being part of the 27th was definitely a hell of an experience, both good and bad. I have definitely grown, but what makes me feel even happier is seeing the people around me grow too. Looking back, it is really amazing how we managed to overcome all that has happened. We often hear our closest affiliates commenting about how 'shiong' the FOP period is, but if you look at it, if FOP was 'shiong', what is an entire year in MC (inclusive of the FOP period itself). Definitely something to be proud of.

I am gonna miss alot of things about MC, but I would definitely feel the most for the people. Yes, no doubt we still see each other in school, at future arts club projects etc. but somehow or rather, it will never be the same again.

Free and Easy

Random thoughts:

Typing this on a wednesday afternoon in my room, all alone, feels good. Lesson starts only at 2, and I can wake up anytime I want, read my book, surf the net, go back to sleep, have lunch, all without any disturbance.

School is really making me put on weight again. There is somehow a need to eat in between all those breaks and spare time, and as mentioned before, the craving for food is really irresistable, especially after curbing my food intake during the holidays.

Cannot believe that with more time on my hands now, I am still falling back on my readings already. I am though happy to say that I have started my readings since week 1, something which I could only start in the reading week last semester(s).

My modules seem ok for now, except for Understanding the Universe, whereby the teacher is really horrible. But, its all too early to say, as I am sure things will change when tutorials and projects kick in.

Elections is just tomorrow! That is fast. As much as this may be a disappointment to some people, as the days go by, I am feeling more assured of why I am not re-running. (Maybe its just a process of reassuring myself)

Although I have not persuaded or disuaded anybody to run or re-run, I think some people should understand the difference between being frank/telling the truth, and disuading. If I were to tell the upcoming nominees that "being in MC will definitely take up alot of time, so you really need to manage your time well", will this be deemed as disuading, or being honest?

Still on MC issues, I dislike it when people keep saying that being in office only takes up 2 semesters of your time. Looking at it carefully, Team Red and Black started coming together, and preparing our publicity efforts from the end of the first week of school. There was no looking back ever since. And counting that I would have to settle my accounts all the way until the end of september, and with other MC members helping me with appreciation dinner until the 27th of september, half of our 3rd semester would already be gone. If you would allow me to put it in a more drastic context, my term in the 27th MC has already taken up half of my university life (taking into consideration and that I only have 5 semesters as a diploma holder, and if I do not go for honours). This is exactly one of the reasons I am not re-running, but some people just cannot come to understand this from my point of view.

I said I would change my blog skin/template during the last holidays. But looks like I failed to deliver. So with more time on my hands now, I will change the template of my blog. In fact, I think I will design my own template, if possible. Worth a try, haha. Kinda bored with my current template. In fact, I have never changed my blog template at all since I really started to blog.

Last OM

As much as this may sound ironic, or disappointing, the fact is that it was obvious that everyone was definitely much more relieved and happier at the final OM. So was I :)

First Week of School, and A Big Decision

The first week of school has just zoomed past like that. Went for the FASS Prize Presentation Ceremony yesterday, and finally received my Dean's List certificate. Was there together with reuben, bingde, remy, and tianhao, and eventhough we kept joking that we wanted to see each other again there next year, either to take more photographs or to get another chance at the good food, deep within we all know that we really wanna do well again so that we can get another taste of the ceremony next year. Looking back, it may have been a brief ceremony, but it has been perhaps one of my best and biggest achievements in academic terms. Never have I done well in my academics, and never have I ever had the chance to be in a ceremony, and be acknowledged together with the best. Then again, doing well for only one sem is not enough, and I really need to buck up to continue this lucky spree of mine.

This week has been rather relaxing, in terms of studies. Most lectures just consisted of introductory lectures, and there was really nothing heavy. However, when tutorials come in, all hell will break loose again. Initially I didn't feel all that good about my modules this semester, but looking at them again, and also comparing the modules my other friends are juggling, I think its not all that bad.

Still within this week, I also made a very important decision, and that is of not re-running. I really wanna thank everyone who believed in me, but I am really sorry that I would have to disappoint. Thanks also to many, especially hock and reuben, who took time off to speak to me so that I could have a bigger picture of everything, and so that I could think out of what my individual perspective may have allowed. However, as I said many times, there are many reasons and concerns which till today still hold valid, and I will not be re-running. My decision was re-assured when I spoke to my girlfriend the other night about this. Just a simple "you won't change your decision right?" was enough for me to really know what I want.

I know some people may still disagree with my decision, and find that my concerns are not strong enough to trigger this decision of mine, but I will not try to explain to everyone, as not everyone will really understand. I won't deny that I may regret this decision in the future, I won't deny that I have been really fortunate to be given this once in a lifetime opportunity, but my decision has to be made now, and everything points to a 'no'. Very simply, sorry to those whom I may have let down in one way or another, and a big thank you to those who really understand.

And yes, to top it all of, just within this one week, I have again seen friendships turn even more sour, and impressions between one another change for the worse. I know its not very fair of me to say this, but all this again, was a result of issues pertaining to MC. Really had enough of all these.

School Frenzy

Its the second day of the new semester, and although I have only had 2 lectures, I am feeling super unprepared for this new semester. Thats why I have came back early to my room today to sort things out, prepare the list of books I have to buy, and get ready a 'to-do' list. I actually forgot to ballot for my universe tutorial yesterday. Thank goodness there was another round today and I managed to get my preferred slot with jj, sam and ml. I am usually very careful with all these administrative issues, yet I could totally miss something so important out.

This semester didnt start off too well, as I had actually spent almost 300 times more points on bidding, than last semester. Imagine that. Lets just hope that a horrible start would not result in a horrible sem. On hind sight, I started bidding rather horribly too last semester, but fortunately the sem ended off well. Hope its the same this time round. I am also not as confident of my modules this semester, but well, I guess it is just too early to say. I will just have to work hard, and do more of something which I have never done for the past 2 semesters, and that is do my readings regularly. Although I must say I am still keeping my fingers crossed while typing this.

With the re-opening of the deck, and a bazaar at the forum, the food craving is just horrible. In fact, even when I was coming back to my room just now, as I was walking past old chang kee, new zealands natural and subway, I just felt so hungry, but still resisted the urge. Kinda sad though. As I was telling the others, I just think that school will definitely make me put back alot of weight. The food crave in me just doesn't seem to go away, and the number of new eateries around campus is totally not helping.

And oh, to those who still do not know, I have decided. I just want to make a plea to those who feel disappointed with my decision, to just try to understand. And please, do not judge me or my decision with what you think you know. Come and talk to me, or ask me if need be, and I will let you know why. If at the end of the day you are still not satisfied with my reasons, then so be it. I just wouldn't be able to get everyone to understand. That is how sure I am of my decision.

Back to School

And just like that, the holidays are over, and 5 FOP projects are over just like that, with rag and o-week ending yesterday. It has been quite an experience, although really tiring. My previous post says it all.

Rag yesterday was very emotional and saddening for many. To be honest, I would say many of us were much more prepared for the worst case scenario, after experiencing last year's rag. It was almost deja vu, as the exact same thing happened. Although I must say losing to science could be acceptable for their amazing mechanism, losing to SDE is once again shocking. All I can say is I feel extremely sad for the raggers, but raggers, I am very proud of all of you. The hours put into tech, the sweat put into dance, the odds you guys overcame, the journey was just amazing. To kenneth and raggers, be proud of yourselves. No matter what, just ask yourselves, was our float good? Was our dance good? You bet. The judges don't know that, but we know that, and the rest of the people present at rag knows it. Even SDE and Science would have to agree that we once again deserved much more. Well, whatever it is, even though we have no award or prize to show, we have the friendships and memories to prove that arts rag was definitely a success.

Schools starting tomorrow, and the school will finally be crowded and noisy again. Can't wait to see the new deck tomorrow, as Im sure this re-opening would mean more lunch, tea and chit-chat sessions with friends. And yes, I have more or less made my decision. I am now 95% sure.

Getting A Little Messy

Well, I managed to jump from rag, to o-week, and then to rag again, and back to o-week, running from site to site. Promised to in one way or another help both projects, so no way I am going to go back on my promise. Not sure if because of this I am neglecting my fullest effort on any of these 2 projects individually, but I feel that currently its the best and only way I can think of helping both projects at one time. Tiring it is, but seriously, I'm not complaining. I really enjoy being a part of both projects, the time spent, the activities, and most importantly, the people.

On to something less pleasant ...

If you guys frequent my blog, you should know that I am someone who tends to be a little indirect when blogging. I intentionally phrase my words indirectly to describe how I feel of certain things, knowing that some people will understand, while others may not. I try my best not to be direct on anything, as I know the repercussions of being an irresponsible blogger, and how blogging can cause unhappiness and misjudgements. However, for whats to follow, I will be truly direct and honest.

I am rather disturbed at some things I have seen and heard recently. Its been a rough and messy week, and it has at times even become nasty. Emotions are running wild, everyone is really lacking sleep, and some people are at a big risk of losing control of themselves. People are really starting to show their ugly sides, and I can really sense a whole lot of tension between people. In fact, I can tell that people are even starting to dislike each other. And if you really look at it, all these boils down to the projects we are working on. If you ask me, I think all the friendships affected and negative impressions going around is not at all worth it. And to be even more honest, another reason for why re-running should not even be an option to consider.

And yes, although I personally feel that I can still manage to keep myself in check, I must say I am starting to lose abit of my temper too. I am starting to get impatient with people who persuades me to re-run for the wrong reasons. I dislike it when people assume that my personal problems and concerns should rank second to re-running, I dislike it when people think that they understand my concerns and think that I am worrying too much, and I hate it when because of whatever decision I make, I start to be branded as selfish. In fact, all this persuasion and expectation is really pissing me off, and slanting me even closer to my decision of not re-running. Please, give me some space, and some of my own personal rights to make a choice which would really affect me.