Trying Too Hard
I finally had dinner at home, after a long time. Even though it wasn't home cooked food, it still tasted good. I was really getting sick of food in school already. Don't really think its the dishes or food I am sick of, but more of the fact that it is eating in school.
At dinner just now, mum posed me a question, and made a remark which got me thinking. She asked how long more to graduation, and I replied 1 year more, but 2 years if I decide to go for honours. She then asked if I really wanted to go for honours. I think the reason why she asked that question, was because she could see how tired and stressed up I was. Eventhough I am seldom home, every time I come back during the weekends, I think she can sense the entire week of tiredness in me. Mum and Dad have never set any expectations for me to really excel in school, and they know that I myself would usually take things in its course. But this time, I think Mum could see that that I am pushing myself, perhaps pushing too hard? She then told me that if I am getting too tired of school life, I should perhaps move on into the working world.
That really got me thinking. Mum's words are always wise, because to me, she is the one person who has really seen the world out there and experienced the most. I am seriously very tired of school now. The friends and various activities are really fun, and that is perhaps the thing that I cherish most in school, but always affected by grades, is not fun at all. One can say that if you put grades aside, and not worry too much, then all will be better. But matter of truth is, many things is school surrounds grades, a fact we cannot hide. I am so not looking forward to next semester at all, unlike previous semesters.
As I have always said, this semester was pretty horrid and hectic for me. Some of my grades I have gotten back have more or less shaped the expecatations I have of my final grades, but I guess much will still be decided from the final exams. Then again, I do not have much hopes on my final papers too. I am not regretting though, as if I really look back, from all my assignments to my revision for exams, I have really done my best. Least I can do is assure myself of that. But to think of it, did I just do my best, or perhaps more than my best. Ironic as the last sentence may sound, but its a true reflection of how I have perhaps tried too hard.
Still a few things to settle, checking out, clearing my stuff, and on a brighter note, preparing for bangkok. Woo hoo, Bangkok here I come. And to my fellow bangkok mates, the europhia will come soon for you too!
At dinner just now, mum posed me a question, and made a remark which got me thinking. She asked how long more to graduation, and I replied 1 year more, but 2 years if I decide to go for honours. She then asked if I really wanted to go for honours. I think the reason why she asked that question, was because she could see how tired and stressed up I was. Eventhough I am seldom home, every time I come back during the weekends, I think she can sense the entire week of tiredness in me. Mum and Dad have never set any expectations for me to really excel in school, and they know that I myself would usually take things in its course. But this time, I think Mum could see that that I am pushing myself, perhaps pushing too hard? She then told me that if I am getting too tired of school life, I should perhaps move on into the working world.
That really got me thinking. Mum's words are always wise, because to me, she is the one person who has really seen the world out there and experienced the most. I am seriously very tired of school now. The friends and various activities are really fun, and that is perhaps the thing that I cherish most in school, but always affected by grades, is not fun at all. One can say that if you put grades aside, and not worry too much, then all will be better. But matter of truth is, many things is school surrounds grades, a fact we cannot hide. I am so not looking forward to next semester at all, unlike previous semesters.
As I have always said, this semester was pretty horrid and hectic for me. Some of my grades I have gotten back have more or less shaped the expecatations I have of my final grades, but I guess much will still be decided from the final exams. Then again, I do not have much hopes on my final papers too. I am not regretting though, as if I really look back, from all my assignments to my revision for exams, I have really done my best. Least I can do is assure myself of that. But to think of it, did I just do my best, or perhaps more than my best. Ironic as the last sentence may sound, but its a true reflection of how I have perhaps tried too hard.
Still a few things to settle, checking out, clearing my stuff, and on a brighter note, preparing for bangkok. Woo hoo, Bangkok here I come. And to my fellow bangkok mates, the europhia will come soon for you too!
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